Jessye's Fantasy Land

If I had any control over my life here is what it would look like:

After a restful 8 hours of sleep I would get up at 6, work out and spend some time in my Bible. I would shower and get dressed, put on make-up and maybe even some jewelery. I would make some bread and then a hot breakfast. One by one, my sleepy eyed children would wake up and wander in to the kitchen for some morning cuddles and a well-balanced, hearty meal. The rest of the morning would be spent bathing, dressing and playing with those well behaved, happy, well-rested angelic children of mine. Maybe we'd go for a morning walk, exploring and finding leaves to bring home to do projects with. Or visit the library... We'd come home and eat lunch and take naps. Elie and I would spend some quality one-on-one time together. We'd read some books or practice her letters... When Nick came home from work the house would be clean, dinner would be on the table and I would still be wearing my jeans and earrings.

*keep in mind this fantasy is partially based in reality. If it was TRUE fantasy there would be horses, chickens, pigs and a maid.

Ahhh. dreaming...

Reading with Intention 2011

I counted up my books for this year and was a little disappointed in myself. Last year I read 40 books. I was really hoping to beat that this year. Unless I manage to finish one of the two books I am reading in the next four days (highly unlikely given the papers I have to grade and the house I have to clean) I will have read the same amount. I comfort myself with the knowledge that a number of the books I read were LONG not to mention I bought a house and had a baby. ANYWAY... My top 5 books of the year were... (drumroll please)

In no particular order:
Lonesome Dove- Larry McMurtry
Rebecca- Daphne du Maurier
The Fountainhead- Ayn Rand
The Good Earth- Pearl S. Buck
Our Hearts were Young and Gay- Skinner and Kimbrough

Okay I will just make it my top 10-
Winnie the Pooh- A.A. Milne
David Copperfield- Dickens
The Elegance of the Hedgehog- Muriel Barbery
Rilla of Ingleside- L.M. Montgomery
The Horse Boy- Issakson


Oh and Farenheit 451. (Can you believe I was an English major and I've never read this before?!)

It was a very good year as far as reading goes and I am excited about what adventures I will go on next year. I think I am going to FINALLY commit to reading Harry Potter...

Just another day...

All is good and peaceful in The Saemenes Household... in my dreams. That is if I had been allowed enough time to dream in between my four year old waking me up to tell me her elf (on the shelf) was "boring her," my two year old waking up needing her pacifier and my baby needing to eat. In reality, my bathroom doesn't have a wall or a shower head and more than once today I have had three screaming girls crammed on my lap. At another time I had my lunch burning on the stove, a screaming baby in bed and a turd rolling out of another kid's pants.

I haven't showered since Tuesday and it is Friday. My bathroom looks like you need a hard hat, my house looks like a war-zone and my kitchen looks like a deranged frenchman with a clever was chasing a runaway crustacean through it. I am tired and stinky and it will take all my self- control not to break open that half gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream in my freezer and put myself in a sugar induced state of comadic (yes, I did just make that word up) bliss.

silly old bear...

Elie and I read Winnie the Pooh together this week. It was so much fun to have her grab her book and snuggle in every time I sat down to read. I have been waiting for the day I could read with her since I found out I was pregnant. My three greatest desires for my children are that I can show them to love God, books and swimming. It was the first time I read Winnie-the-pooh and I loved it. It was very subtle with some more advanced humor, but still easy for her to understand.

On the last page was my favorite quote-
" When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, " what's the first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. " What do you say, Piglet?"
" I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing." he said.

Double Edged Swords

I have been thinking a lot lately about the "curse of Eve." When I am pregnant especially I think about how creative God got in his curse. Physically, the sheer amount of weird things that happen to a woman's body during pregnancy is beyond what my own imagination could conjure up. One thing that has been really striking me is that to every negative thing about motherhood there is an unbelievably positive right behind it- softening the blow. As uncomfortable as it is to be pregnant, nothing matches the feeling of your child growing and kicking and stretching and simply being inside. Childbirth itself is beyond painful. In some cases, the child is literally ripped out of a woman's body and yet (at least in my own experience) I feel happy afterwards. I WANT to have another baby despite knowing the pain and discomfort I will experience getting there. As they get older, there are plenty of the same double edged sword that makes up motherhood. I remember how excited I was for Elie to say my name for the first time and how many times since I have yelled "if you say my name ONE more time I am going to scream!" since.

I have a two month old a two year old and a four and a half year old. Being a stay at home mom with small children is exhausting, lonely, and to be honest, sometimes boring. I catch myself some days saying "I just have to get through these next few years and things won't be so hard." Or with Delia, thinking "just a few more months and she'll start sleeping better." Seeing my older two growing so fast has given me pause this time around. Yes, in a few months Delia will be sleeping better but she won't have that newborn smell anymore and she won't stretch in that newborn way with her back arched and her face all squishy.

I hate "Christianese" so this is in no way an attempt at that, but motherhood has taught me so much about the way we are loved. The more I think about it, the more I think that God gave us His "curse." The curse to love someone unconditionally, despite pain, annoyance, discomfort and fear. Despite having to stand there powerlessly watching those we would die for make mistakes and get hurt. Despite being yelled at, complained at, pooped on (metaphorically and otherwise) and ignored.

Wow. That is not at all where I anticipated this blog post to go when I sat down to write it.

On having an Obsessive Personality...

I have an extremely obsessive personality. Unfortunately for me, the obsessive personality is coupled with a complete and utter lack of self control. I can't read before bed otherwise I will stay up until the book is finished, I will watch a show incessantly until I have watched them all (even if I don't like the show) and I occasionally get completely obsessed with a particular food. I am hopeless around cookies but there have been certain foods in my life that I go through phases of eating and thinking about ALL. DAY. LONG. In high school it was mozzarella sticks. When I was pregnant with Elie it was shaved ice with vitamin water. Currently, I can't stay out of Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter cups. Nick actually locked them in his gun safe last night to save me from myself. And I nearly went back to Trader Joe's today just to get more. I am completely pathetic.

First Garden

I harbor secret fantasies about being a farm girl. I want a big barn with horses and cows and chickens and pigs. Step one to accomplishing that goal was go get guinea pigs. Surely, I need practice taking daily care of animals and why not start small (plus it was hard enough to talk nick into those). Unfortunately, the guinea pigs were a failure and a week after Delia was born I sold them. Step two in accomplishing my countryfied living goals was to have a garden. THAT was a success.



I learned a LOT just from trial and error and I will do my garden differently next year, but we were VERY happy with our results.

The girls especially, well Lainey especially- Elie kinda lost interest after the strawberries were done- loved to go out to the garden and pick and eat the booty. I found Lainey outside more than once eating not quite ripe tomatoes.





I also learned some about "home made" vegetables- they don't all come out looking like they do at the store. For example, some carrots look like this...



I froze green beans, carrots, zucchini and corn and made batches and batches of spagetti sauce from our tomatoes and zucchini bread. I can't wait until next year!